April

Here is the calendar for April



April 1st. National Surrogate Mother's Day. Hug a surrogate Mother
April 12th. See Doctor about ear wax buildup
April 18th. Challenge random person to arm wrestling match
April 23rd. Buy moustache wax for moustache
april 27th. Take cat to cat whore

March 24th

And the calendar clearly states...



now... you may be wondering. who he hell is Zac?
well... i'll tell ya.

this is zac



and he is the man responsible for about 90% of the Calendar entries. It is because of this crazy grease monkey, that I am doing these strange things.

Since it's his birthday, I decided, with the help of my lady friend, to make him a cake.

but I should explain something real quick before you see the cake.

I first met zac on the WOXY.com Message boards. There, he is not known as zac. he is known as Handy Smurf.

Anyways. Other than that, I think the cake speaks for itself.





Happy birthday Zac. you crazy guy.

March 20th

The Calendar clearly states that I must...



So, that is what I set off to do. I realized that I did indeed have a bump that was bothering me, and I knew exactly where to go to get it checked.



Inside the office, I told the receptionist of my appointment and waited. There were many educational brochures so I figured I might as well study a few of them.



The doc finally came for me and took me to a room, she then left to get my records in order, and just before she returned, I attempted to give myself a self exam by following some directions. I’m not sure if I was doing it right, but I’m pretty sure I could still feel that bump. And I’m pretty sure the bump was laughing at me. Mocking me. Always mocking!



I’m really not sure what the doc plans to do with this.



The doc returned, and she instructed me, nay, ordered me to take off my shirt. The last thing I wanted to do was anger my doctor, so I did as she said. My shirt went off, and I stepped up to a very strange machine.



I don’t know what kind of voodoo magik is involved with this strange contraption, but I figured I should just trust the doc.



It was all a bit scary really. Especially when I started hearing a strange chuckling noise. I realized it was the doc... And she was laughing at me. It was then that she told me that the bump, was merely my nipple.



Oh nipple... you sure tricked me this time. But next time, you won’t be so lucky.

But hey! They gave me some lollipops and a nifty tote bag on my way out. Awesome!

March 15th

I'm gonna have to edit this one later, as I havent gotten around to it. but i dont want entries to be out of place. so consider this a place holder.

March 5th

The (Late) March 2nd entry

And it was said by the calendar that I had to make, Chicken Fried Rice.

So, I did just that.

First of course, I had to defrost me some chicken. I only needed two breast. And yet most packages of chicken come with the unnatural ammount of three breasts. whats up with that?



mmm gold'n plump, just how I like em.

the first step, was to boil them yummy things. While i did that, I went into the fridge for a chicken baby.



One chicken baby, plus 1 TBS of water. Beat.





I set that lovely concoction aside, for it was now the time I dreaded most about cooking. It was time for me to tackle the evil onion. why does something that makes food taste so good make me cry so? what have I ever done to it?



I only managed to chop it for 30 seconds before I started crying like the time my brother sat on me and farted on my head.

oh the memories that silly onion brought back.



damn you onion... damn you farting brother.




I proceeded to cut the yummy, tender, breast of chicken in to yummy tender strips,



Next, I had to prepare the egg. I started by buttering up the frying pan, pouring in the egg, and letting it cook for about a minute, without flipping it over.




Then I cut it into strips.



It was now time for tablespoon of oil



Muhahaha, stupid onions... this is what you get for making me cry...sizzling destruction!!





after a few minutes of onion destruction, it was time to add the rest of the ingredients.
2 cups of cooked rice



soy sauce



some pepper



peas and chicken



I cooked for another few minutes till everything was nice and mixed, and then added the egg and some nummy sesame oil



stirred, and served. hot and awesome.

technical difficulties

I guess at this point, if you've at all been following this, you know i am not alwasy punctual.

well... at the moment, I'm having some pricey technical difficulties and need to get it figured out before i can continue.

some of my audio equipment has been crapping out, and since i also need said audio equipment for the band im in, it has taken priorety.

dont worry, i'll be back reaaaal soon.
sorry.